The Street Kid I Left Behind

This is one of the memories I am not proud of; A guilt feeling which resonates every time I see a boy no older than 4 years old.

Jajas, my son, is now 3 years old.
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It was my last semester in college. I was no longer allowed in the dormitory and have decided to stay in a boarding house of my college friends instead. Carrying two heavy large bags, I found myself stranded in front of the boarding house knocking and semi-yelling "Tao po" one night. Behind me, retracing my steps, was a silent boy curiously looking at me. He was being followed by a group of kids playfully calling him "kuya,kuya".

The boy was skinny for his age. He was bare-footed with knees heavily bruised. He was a street kid. The other kids call him kuya for a reason I will find out later that evening.

I sat down in front of the empty house waiting for someone to open the gate. The boy sat down a few meters away while the bullies left him probably due to my presence. I took out a plastic of bread I bought earlier, got one for myself and offered the plastic to the boy.

His eyes widened, and like a new friend, he slowly shortened our distance apart. He took a bread and silently nimble it. Then he ate fast as hungry kids would do. He asked for more.

The night was silent aside from our usual chewing.

"Gabi na? Saan bang bahay mo", I asked. The boy said he was homeless and was just passing by. He addressed me as Kuya politely.

"Ba't andito ka kuya?", he asked me while pointing at my bags. I told him that I was waiting for a friend. I was glad enough for the boy to have shared my waiting.

"Pwede ba akong tumira dito kuya?" he asked seriously. I said that the place wasn't mine. He was silent for a moment and tried another hopeful comment; He asked that I take him with me to where I live knowing that my waiting was getting hopeless.

I sat there for a while and told him my story the way I tell a bedtime story. His comforting bed was the pavement, and his kuya was a stranger.

I said that I was just a student without any money to spare. My thesis was getting nowhere. My girlfriend Jody, pregnant then, resigned from work and was expecting to have a baby boy. I half-jokingly said that I was actually planning on squatting at my friends boarding house for a semester.

He said he was homeless and looking for a place to stay; It was no competition. I felt guilty for feeling sorry for myself when all along a street kid was listening to my wonderful life.

We finished the plasticful of bread as the night was getting darker. I stood up saying that I need to take a padyak ride back to UP.

He said that I should take the padyak route with the bright lights on because the other one was scary dark. I told him that I have to take the scary one since it was the nearest and cheapest way.

He seemed disappointed. As I took the bags I was carrying, he offered to accompany me to the padyak's loading area. He was silently following me. The bullies earlier followed him again while teasing "kuya kuya" over and over. I grunted and scared them away. The boy smiled from my action.

As I took the ride, the boy pleaded that I take him with me. I said that it was impossible for me to take care of him. But the boy wasn't letting go of the padyak's sidecar. The padyak's annoyed driver shouted at the boy to back off.

The boy got scared, stood there and sadly watched me leave. We were out of his sight as the road wasn't properly lit.

The road was getting darker and darker, just like what the boy said. I was thinking of his plea "Kuya, kuya". The sound resonated in my head slowly getting louder as my thought was replaced by another padyak moving the opposite direction.

"Uy hinahabol ka ng bata oh!" The other driver shouted at the driver beside me.

My padyak's driver sneered and murmured "Di ko anak yan no?"

I looked back and there running was the boy as he shouted "Kuya kuya". I was only able to see his silhouette as his young short legs slowed down. His outline slowly being eaten by the darkness.

I did not ask the driver to stop nor wave back to say goodbye. I was there undecided and scared of my horrible action.

They teased him kuya and I never saw the little boy again.